15 Dad Tweets That Have Us Tucked In And Ready For A Bedtime Story (February 6, 2022)

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LiterallyLily17
Feb 5, 2022 12:00 PM EST

The world is blessed with funny fathers. These dads are providing quality knee-slapping content. These are the kinds of wholesome tweets that can carry us through the day. Dads, thanks for bringing us your best cringy and corny humor. At Cheezcake, we like to honor the brave ones out there that get asked uncomfortable questions by their children at the worst times. This is an ode to the ones who pack lunches and break-up punches. We are honoring these dads in the only way we can, by dedicating a weekly listicle to their clever tweets. So to the fathers of Twitter, we thank you for your service. It's definitely true as well that funny dads are always seen as the coolest. Is it important to be cool among children? That's up to you to decide now, isn't it?

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  • 01
    Rectangle - Simon Holland @simoncholland Why would I pay for a haunted house when I can wake up to my kid silently standing by my bed at 5 AM. 12:53 AM Oct 3, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone
    via @simoncholland

    Every day is haunted house when you have ghost kids walking around the house. 

  • 02
    Rectangle - Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet It's easy to stay humble when your 6yo tells you that you "have a big belly like Daddy Pig" 2:42 AM Nov 10, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 37 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 334 Likes
    via @dad_on_my_feet

    Now that just hurts. 

  • 03
    Font - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal ... Things that made my toddler cry this week: - I wouldn't let the dog drive him to daycare - the bath was "too wet" - he wanted syrup for breakfast...just syrup - his sister "keeps looking at him" - he wants shoes like his friend Jacob (there is no Jacob) How about your kid?
    via @henpeckedhal
  • 04
    Rectangle - Robert McNees @mcnees The 6yo figured out she can sneakily stick a note on someone's back. But she doesn't know they should say things like "kick me," so they just have space facts on them.
    via @monees
  • 05
    Rectangle - Water - non podhoretz @crookedroads770 I generally think of myself as an okay father but somehow I forgot to teach my two year old son what an owl was and he thought it was called a wood penguin
    via @crookedroads770
  • 06
    Rectangle - Font - Average Dad @Average_Dad1 Buy your toddler clothes with lots of snaps and buttons if you've ever thought it would be cool to do a puzzle that tries to kick you and run away while you solve it 8:44 AM Oct 20, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 282 Retweets 15 Quote Tweets 1,189 Likes
    via @average_dad1
  • 07
    Rectangle - Font - NewDadNotes @NewDadNotes Mom: how's your little cult thing going honey? Me: [sigh] mom Twitter isn't a cult. Dad: it sounds like a cult to me. Mom: 80k people follow him Harold. Me: seriously not a cult. Dad: what do you call all those people? Me: Mom: Dad: Me: my followers.
    via @newdadnotes
  • 08
    Rectangle - Font - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 6-year-old: I have a spelling test tomorrow. Me: What do you have to spell? 6: Words, probably. 6:44 AM - Oct 1, 2020 · Twitter for Android 272 Retweets 16 Quote Tweets 4,440 Likes
    via @xplodingunicorn
  • 09
    Rectangle - Rectangle - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal This morning, my 3 year old son emerged from our bedroom wearing several of my wife's scarves and every bracelet she owns. I know he's young, and saying this may make me appear close-minded and intolerant, but I don't want him growning up to be Johnny Depp.
    via @henpeckeredhal
  • 10
    Rectangle - Rectangle - Dad off my Feet @dad_off_my_feet I'm a dad. If you wanna insult me, call my parenting “babysitting" 11:42 PM - Sep 26, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 74 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 455 Likes
    via @dad_off_my_feet
  • 11
    Rectangle - Human body - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal My 3 year old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me. told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I'll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life." Toddlers are cold-blooded, man. 3:01 AM - Aug 20, 2019 - Twitter Web App
    via @henpeckedhal
  • 12
    Rectangle - Smile - WTFDAD @daddydoubts My toddler is always saying that he loves living in our apartment because it's "high in the sky" which is adorable. Telling a police officer that he's "going to get high at home with daddy" less so.
    via @daddydoubts
  • 13
    Rectangle - Rectangle - Simon Holland @simoncholland My kid can tell me all about a 24 minute episode of Paw Patrol in 56 minutes. 8:40 PM - Apr 21, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 131 Retweets 20 Quote Tweets 2,163 Likes
    via @simoncholland
  • 14
    Rectangle - Rectangle - Andy Ryan @ltsAndyRyan ... Daughter: What does gays mean? Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way Her: So what's 'penetrating gays'? Me: Er... read me the whole sentence Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze" Me: Oh
    via @itsandyryan
  • 15
    Rectangle - Facial expression - Brendan Greeley @bhgreeley Having studied my habits and preferences, my daughter hacked my attention this morning for her political agenda CAN I PIEASE GET A PUPPY oPANIES a real One iestions swirl over Cambridge Analytica up is at heart of case that has seen Facebook come under pressure over how it handles information
    via @bhgreeley

    Like what you see? Find more hilarious women's memes and crazy stories on our Instagram @Cheezcake_Humor and more videos on our YouTube Channel

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dad tweets fatherhood dad jokes funny memes parenting funny tweets daddy issues
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